more so today because i have already eaten dinner and it's just 6pm.
i am not retired, i am far from it. i actually have no idea how i will ever be.
i think I'd be good at it. just like I'd be really good at being rich.
i am feeling the light change in the way i do most years.
like someone hog tied me and plunged me into ice cold water. but upside down, so my face is up and out of the water, gasping for breath and trying to keep from freezing.
this is somewhat softened when i am under the spell of 5-HTP and Tyrosine, doing their level best to assure me that it's perfectly natural for the sun to go down this early and for my digits to feel the wrath of the increasing cold.
it generally works. usually after i freak out in many different ways and then realize it is just the season. no one. i repeat, NO ONE living in New England makes enough vitamin D for this.
it makes me more aware of needing a hobby that doesn't involve walking anywhere or going outside at all. and yet, my body thinks that after eating dinner before most people get home from work, i should then retreat to the bedroom.
this is where my coveted turquoise velour suit is kept.
if the soft and forgiving legs and arms of this fantastic 2 piece even brush against me, i have been adequately seduced into cozing around my house for the night.
snacking, lounging, perhaps with some Malbec or trance inducing folky lullabies.
all the while, in the back of my noggin, wondering, when is it coming back? the light? the ability to have freedom of movement and ease.
well, we have a while still, folks. and i for one, am keeping vigil for the day when things turn around. December 21st.
so that's it really. i just wanted to spill out a bit of this clamor in my brain.
i hope you are feeling warm and fairly, if not fully, satisfied.
xoxo
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